The streets of Fandom, Thursday Evening (After 'Dite's)

[glacial_queen]

Neither Raven nor Karla had outright agreed to walk home, but Karla wasn't really keen on the idea of teleporting right now and it seemed like Raven wasn't, either. Both girls were quiet and subdued, emotionally battered even if they weren't physically bruised. Though, to be fair, Karla's scalp hurt and she was pretty sure her lips were swollen--neither of which she'd be mentioning to the healer beside her, however.

Much of the walk was silent, both girls trying to make sense of just what had happened. The plan as she's conceived it and the plan as executed had been very different, and though the desired outcome had been achieved, Karla wasn't entirely sure it had come without cost.

Finally, as the school came into view, Karla broke the awkward silence. "Raven? I'm so sorry. For putting you through that. I...I didn't know--"

[For the empath, please!]

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[trigons_child]

Raven didn't respond for a moment. "I knew it would be a risk that I might lose control," she said finally, "though I had faith that you and Professor Maximus would be able to restrain me. I did not expect....that, however." She fell silent again, then came to a stop. "I wish you had not seen that," she said, letting a little sadness creep into her voice. She wouldn't blame Karla if she wanted nothing more to do with her.

[glacial_queen]

Karla took a deep breath. "I can't deny that it startled me," she admitted slowly. "I'd never imagined--but I guess it makes sense. My mother always said I had my father's nose, for example."

Raven just had her father's eyes. All four of them.

"But this you--this isn't an illusion, right? I'd've spotted that by now." Karla sounded uncertain about that.

[trigons_child]

"Both forms are truly me," Raven said. "What you see now is a mask. When my control fails, the demon that I am is revealed." She'd never admitted it in quite that way, but she wasn't feeling too good about herself at the moment.

"When Professor Skywalker killed me in the other Fandom...that is what he saw," she added.

[glacial_queen]

Karla stopped, waiting to speak until Raven stopped as well. "I don't believe this is just a mask," she said quietly. "You're just as much your mother's child as your father's. That other side might come out in times of extreme stress or emotions, but that doesn't make it all you are."

[trigons_child]

"Sometimes I am not so certain," Raven said, shaking her head. "One is what Azar trained me for years to be. The other is what my father wishes me to be, but I want no part of that."

[glacial_queen]

"We cannot always leave our less-than-pleasant heritage behind," Karla pointed out, beginning to walk again. "Look at me. I'm related to a kin-murdering, treasonous bastard."

Which, you know, wasn't a world-eating demon, but still no walk in the park.

"Being Trigon's child means you have a more difficult time of it than most, but that just means you'll have to fight him that much harder."

[trigons_child]

"I know," Raven said quietly, walking beside Karla. Why, hello there, guilt. "And...I am sorry I hurt you. I should not have let that happen." The pretending shouldn't have become real.

[glacial_queen]

"Well, I shouldn't have let you try to take emotions away from a goddess," Karla countered. "Or maybe been better at pretending to be you, so she wouldn't take it as a challenge to shove more anger down your throat." She sighed. "It was a really awful plan and I could have gotten us all seriously hurt. I'm really sorry, Raven."

[trigons_child]

"I have no skill with deception," Raven said. "And I was too nervous about attempting to be Professor Maximus. And what she said unsettled me." That provoked a shudder. "The odds were against us, but I am pleased we were ultimately successful." It was the only thing she was pleased about right now.

[glacial_queen]

From Karla was standing, it was the only thing they had to be pleased about. "I know she turned the store back, but I may send my droid to work for me for a week or two," she admitted quietly. "I don't think I'm ready to go back. Or face 'Dite. I'm still too unsettled."

[trigons_child]

"I think...I need some time away," Raven said, in complete agreement with what Karla had just said. She was even dreading entering the dorms now. "I need to recenter myself."

Facing 'Dite would be easier than Max, though. Even more so than usual now.

[glacial_queen]

Karla save Raven a sidelong glance, sensing some of that inner turmoil. "You wanna keep walking?" she suggested. "Maybe down towards the beach? I know the ocean always kind of calms me. It's so big...big enough to swallow all my problems and never notice. Or you could head up to the roof when we get back?" She wanted to offer Raven an option that didn't include the burden of her presence, either. "Spend some time contemplating the stars."

[trigons_child]

"I would appreciate that, yes," Raven said gratefully. "I do not think I am a danger at all" -- she wouldn't allow herself to be alone with Karla if she'd had any fear of that -- "but I feel...raw." Her stomach was still roiling like she was going to be sick, but she'd clamped down on that as with everything else she was feeling.

[glacial_queen]

"I don't think you're a danger either," Karla told her. "But I get that raw feeling. Exposed and hurt and like every nerve's been rubbed down with salt. At least, that's how I feel anyway. And you got it way worse that I did."

[trigons_child]

That pretty much accurately described just how Raven felt inside, with the exception of the empty hunger. "I am attempting to take solace in the fact that this time I was stopped," she said. She wasn't sure if Karla knew exactly what Max had done, however. "Though I truly would have preferred a different way of doing so. At least this time I did regain control, unlike when Professor Skywalker had to strike me down." See, there was a bright side. Sort of.

[glacial_queen]

"Would you like to talk about what happened?" Karla asked diffidently. "I know that Max did something but not quite what."

But whatever it is, it had stopped Raven dead--and made Max look like he was about to sick up.

"You don't have to," she added quickly. "Not if you're not ready yet. Or just don't want to."

[trigons_child]

She wasn't sure if it would help, but holding it in wasn't doing much good, either. Her voice shook as she spoke as her control began to crack. "He...did what he did to me in the other Fandom," she said. "He filled me with both pleasure and pain. The part of me that Lady Aphrodite had incited wanted to kill him for daring to command me so. And part of me wanted so very much to obey."

At some near point in the future she was going to be violently ill.

[glacial_queen]

Karla was so there to hold back her hair. Because, dammit, her own stomach was clenching a bit in sympathy. "Hell's fire, Mother Night, and may the Darkness be merciful," she muttered through clenched teeth. "Raven--I'm so--I didn't--can I give you a hug?"

[trigons_child]

"Give me a moment, please?" Raven said faintly, trying to quell the storm inside her. But she failed and abruptly spun around and sank to her knees, retching in the grass.

[glacial_queen]

Karla didn't go in for a hug, but she was definitely there to hold Raven's hair away from her face, rubbing her back, and whispering words of calm and comfort. "There there," she soothed. "Get it all out. It's gonna be all right. We're going to make it all right. Somehow."

[trigons_child]

Raven wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and tried to remember how to breathe. "I do not fault him for it," she managed to say. "He did what he had to do."

[glacial_queen]

"Fine then," Karla said. "I'll fault him for it on your behalf. He should have been able to think of something else!"

Or Karla should have. Or she shouldn't have gotten Raven mixed up in this whole thing at all.

Carefully, Karla locked those thoughts away behind her inner barriers. Raven didn't need her guilt on top of everything else.

[trigons_child]

Raven sat back on her heels. Her stomach felt a little better now at least. "He knew it would stop me," she said quietly. "He knows my weaknesses. It was better than dying." She didn't want to do that again.

[glacial_queen]

"We wouldn't have killed you," Karla said, shaking her head in absolute negation. "It wasn't like the other-Fandom, when Anakin had no choice. This was different. You weren't that far gone."

Whether Karla was convincing Raven or herself of this was up for grabs.

[trigons_child]

"There was so much rage," Raven said softly. "I attacked you, I attacked Lady Aphrodite...I wanted to hurt you both as cruelly as I could." She couldn't believe that 'Dite had been feeling that so strongly. "And then I surely would have turned on Professor Maximus, and then anyone else who crossed my path."

She wrapped her arms around herself, trembling. "Promise me you will not tell Andy or Professor Skywalker of this," she said. "I do not wish them to do anything rash to punish Professor Maximus for what he did." And while Anakin had seen her demon side emerge, she never wanted Andy to imagine that.