Dite's Suite, Arms Hotel, Monday Afternoon

[glacial_queen]

Anytime there was an overnight trip to the island these days, it was traditional for people who'd been given a key stayed over in Dite's Suite. During reunion weekend, there were several such people--and all their friends--but while that meant that sleeping quarters were a bit cramped, it reminded Karla of the giant slumber parties she used to throw in the dorms, roughly a million years ago. And it was good to be able to look around and see so many people she loved in one place.

Other than her meeting with Ino later, Karla had no plans for the day. She'd probably go out and make one last round of the island, though she was loathe to disturb Kayla from where she was playing quietly in her playpen. Hmm, maybe she could just see how many people she could get to visit the room instead. The Arms had excellent room service, after all, and food plus friends equaled a party.

[For anyone who thinks they stayed in Dite's Suite and anyone else who is inclined to visit and/or thinks they'd get an invite from Karla. Soo...basically anybody, good job me. SP is loved and late pings welcomed! I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO ANYONE YET]

Comments

[furnaceface]

//Well... thank you.// Jono still wasn't used to well-wishes, never mind acknowledging when somebody saw what he had and approved. But she was right, was the thing. He was more content now, antsiness aside, than he'd been in a long while.

Sure, there were little speed bumps to get over, yet. Jono still wasn't terribly okay with the whole cannibalism thing, but, you know, baby steps.

//And I hope Glacia treats you well, luv.//

[trigons_child]

The part of Raven that could read the prose was side-eyeing you hard, Jono. So hard.

"I love my work," she said. "You know that healing has always brought me joy. And working with the orphanages, helping the children to heal from the trauma the war left them with, and if not finding them homes, then making certain they are sheltered and healthy...it is an even greater joy."

Her smile grew softer, more peaceful as she spoke of her work. "Karla has allowed me to move to bigger rooms at the Estate as well. I will be inviting some of the more troubled children stay with me in hopes I can give them more attention that way."

[furnaceface]

//Those children are lucky to have you,// Jono replied, nodding a little, his own expression softening somewhat. //Too many of them haven't ever had a home to call their own, or lost theirs in the war... Are you still finding ones who have been put to... to use... like the ones from before?//

Jono hoped beyond hope that the days of trading children like work-horses was past, but in some aspects, Glacia could be terribly slow to heal.

[trigons_child]

Raven's expression darkened. Briarwood and places like it were memories she wouldn't have mind not returning.

"A few," she said. "But most of the ones responsible have been found and stopped. We have done all we can to locate all their victims. Some of them are among those who need special care."

[furnaceface]

Jono nodded his head a little bit, and then ventured, //If you'd like a hand finding the rest, making sure the few who got away don't do it again, trying to follow leads to any children who are left...//

He shrugged. He wasn't going to insinuate that they needed the help, but he used to be a member of Weapon X's strike team. He could be a valuable tool if they wanted to make use of him. He didn't even have to have a contract signed for that.

//Glacia was very nearly home,// he added. //It's the least I can do.//

... Well, okay, no, the least he could do was nothing. He'd already went to war for the place. But even so.

[trigons_child]

"Thank you, I appreciate your offer and will keep that in mind," Raven said, relaxing as she banished her anger. "But I would not wish to disrupt your life here." And he'd already seen enough ugliness in his life, and she was still inclined to try to shelter him from it. And....

She hesitated a moment before adding, "And...I think it is better that for the vast majority of the time, I am there and you are here."

[furnaceface]

Jono's eyebrow twitching upward just slightly was really his only indication of what he thought about that. And inwardly... well. Most of it was a muffled mess somewhere between agreement and a weirdly panicked sort of indignation. Raven couldn't tell him not to go there, and it was a whole bloody Territory they never really had to cross paths in. Beyond that, there was Kayla. He was more inclined to want to visit her these days than anybody else. He'd invested so much of himself into seeing that Kayla came safely into the world. That was what he was afraid of losing, more than anything else.

But things between himself and Raven... had been a bloody mess going way back. And he'd failed Glacia enough as it was, he hardly had any right to lay claim to the place, either. Hell, Karla had terminated his contract for a reason.

And Glacia was Raven's home. He'd found his place to belong, here on the island. Back in his world's New York. He was adaptable in a way few people were. He could make a home for himself just about anywhere, in fits and starts.

So he nodded.

//I'll have to get Karla to visit with the baby more, then.//

[trigons_child]

"I did not mean to imply that you could not visit when you wished," Raven quickly clarified. "I could no more forbid you to come to Glacia than you could forbid I come to Fandom. And I do not mean we should never see each other. It is just...."

She had to struggle to find the right words, and even more to say them. "I have been doing a great deal of thinking in the past few months. And -- I do not say this to be cruel, or to hurt you, for that is the last thing I wish to do -- but I think that perhaps we are poison to each other. We have hurt one another so many times. I have failed to understand your needs, or to make mine clear enough to you. And it seems when it comes to you, my emotions are extreme, the fact of which my brothers took advantage. And that is not fair to you."

She ducked her head, blinking back tears.

[furnaceface]

//Not fair to either of us,// Jono replied, gently. //Not when my go-to method of coping is to vanish. We just... we talk past one another, when our emotions are running high. I've recognized that much in the past, myself. And when we get scared, you hold on tighter -- you need to, you need that touchstone, that affirmation that you're cared for, that human connection. I hide. I get too close to people and they get hurt. I hurt them, or at the very least I end up burying them. It's hard to shake that. Neither of those reactions has worked out terribly well for either of us in the past, has it?//

He got it. He really did.

That didn't make this conversation any easier to have.

[trigons_child]

Raven's shoulders slumped. No, not easier at all. As she recuperated in Glacia after Karla and Jaenelle had healed her memory, she'd done a lot of soul-searching, sifting through memories and things she wished she had done differently.

"I do love you," she said softly. "I always will. But I think distance between us is good. I am so very tired of hurting."

She was only pretending to be fine that he hadn't contacted her in almost a year, Glacian time. His seeming rejection of her, and Hannibal's as well, had left a painful scar. With Karla's help she'd dealt with a lot of it, but the ache did still linger.

Still trying not to cry, she brushed a hand against her eyes. "But as I said, it does not mean I never wish to see you again. It just means...I am not sure exactly what it means. I just want to...not hurt."

[furnaceface]

//And... and I don't want to hurt you any more,// Jonothon replied, looking down toward the general direction of his knees. //I still care about you, I just...//

He shrugged. Here he was with the capacity to just communicate anything he felt in mental flashes of shape and bloody colour if he wanted, and he was finding himself struggling with words.

//I make a good show of being able to cope with things, but I'm just as shite at it as I ever was. If you need your space, Raven, I can respect that. It's... a good line to draw. A healthy one. Probably for both of us.//

[trigons_child]

"Healthy," Raven agreed. "I need to heal. When I am immersed in work, it is easier, but when I am not...." That was when the nightmares of her brothers crawling through her mind came, and the what-ifs she imagined if they had been successful played out before her.

She wrapped her arms around herself. "I know I always loved you more than you did me, and I was content with that. But now I need to let it go."

[furnaceface]

There was a long pause before Jono reached up to scratch the back of his head, awkwardly.

//I... I did used to love you, very much,// he said, finally. //But it's been... it's been lifetimes for me, Raven. And while I'll always care - and very much so - I'm not the same person I was when we were together, back in school. That part of me has been burned out and shoved back in a few times, whether or not I wanted it to be.//

He struggled for words again before adding, //Didi's back on the island these days. And I still care for her, as well. But I'm not him. Not completely. And I don't think I ever will be again.//

[trigons_child]

"I am not the same girl, either," Raven said, nodding slightly. "There are times when I miss my innocence." Before she'd ever taken a life, when she had to frequently be restrained by her friends to prevent her from healing a fallen enemy. Before first her father, then her brothers, violated her mind. She was free of them now, but the scars would always remain, and she could never be as she once was.

She hugged herself again and sighed softly. "I am very sorry it took me so long to accept this. I think perhaps my Pride would not allow it. But I know now I must find my path alone."

[furnaceface]

Jono nodded again. He couldn't disagree, not really. It seemed like a good step for her to be taking. Something for herself.

He couldn't think of the last time he'd seen her make a choice like this for her own sake, without pressure from the outside in one way or another. If it wasn't her father or her brothers pushing her, it was letting herself get lost in her devotion to Karla. It had worried him a bit, over the years. Especially since he'd fallen into that same trap himself so many times before.

He was kind of proud of her, now. Even if that pride came from a place that involved asking him to stay away. It wasn't an easy step to take.

//Then... I wish you all the best. And all of the peace you deserve, Raven. It's been too bloody long since you've had that. It's well past time you have a chance to get your feet under you again.//

[trigons_child]

"Thank you," Raven said quietly.

She lifted her head, not trying to hold back the tears any longer. Her throat ached, almost as much as her heart, but she knew she was doing the right thing now.

"And I wish the same for you, I truly do. I am so glad you have settled into a life here on the island, and that you have found companionship with Doctor Lecter. And I am sure we will see each other from time to time, if you are visiting Glacia or I, Fandom. And in time, the pain will fade."

[furnaceface]

//Pain always does,// Jono promised, nodding just once, just slightly. //You're strong and you're smart, and you're a good person, Raven. Glacia will treat you well. You'll be fine.//

He wanted to offer... something. A hug? A tissue? But he didn't have the second handy, and he was fairly certain that the first wouldn't be appropriate, given the conversation at hand.

So he just offered her a warm pulse of faith and well-wishings, just a soft brush of encouragement.

Things would be okay.