Karla's Office, Saturday

[glacial_queen]

This was weird. This was very weird. Karla was used to having Saetan and Lucivar tromping through the halls to interrogate her teachers, not to be one of the teachers about to be interrogated. Sitting behind her desk, she made sure to have some papers out that she could shuffle through in order to look appropriately busy and important.

She'd decided that if any parents asked her questions she couldn't answer, she was just going to lie. Lie creatively and well. Sure, she'd gone to college. Graduated Magma Come Loudly, or whatever. Experience? Loads of it! Her age? None of your damn business, that was how old.

Maybe she'd send the adults she didn't like to Hannibal. Or Eric. With little signs that said, 'I'm delicious!'

Yup, this was how your teacher prepared to meet your parents, class. By making plans to have them eaten.

Look, everyone needed a hobby.

[Open to everyone, guests, students, and teachers alike! Will pick up pings in when awake!]

Comments

[bitten_notshy]

Jack was neither a guest, a student, nor a teacher, but he'd wanted to catch up with Karla since he heard she was teaching and his cunning plan of hoping to bump into her on the island hadn't worked out. So here he was, leaning in her office door.

"Hello," he said, in the American accent that almost had to be intentionally terrible at this point. "Miss Dee-gla-se-euh? My little one's in your class, and I wanted to make sure you're teaching her what's right."

Give him a second to get through his joke, and his sensitive nose would tell him Karla had some news slightly bigger than her appearance as a teacher.

[glacial_queen]

You know, one would think that it was intentionally terrible by now, but Karla's British/Coruscanti accent most certainly wasn't and Jack could ask Ben and Jono how cringeingly awful that was.

"Mother Night, Jack!" Karla said, balling up a piece of paper to throw at him. "That was awful! What did English ever do to you to be insulted that way?"

And as soon as her projectile was in the air, she was pushing herself to her feet and coming around the desk with her hands out to greet him. "You are a much better first visitor than I was expecting," she declared. "Much handsomer, too."

Her shirt was a little looser than the style she normally wore, though she filled out the top much better than she ever had in the past. Another few weeks and Jack wouldn't need to rely on supernatural gifts to know that there was an announcement to be made, and soon.

[bitten_notshy]

"Ah, English didn't do anything to me," Jack said, reaching for a hug. "Americans did, though. Having this island and making me make friends here so I'd feel like I had to stay. It's cruel, is what it is."

"And thank you," he added absently, eyes widening. "You're, um -- did you know you're having a baby?"

He did not. Why hadn't he been informed?

[glacial_queen]

"Not just friends, but beloveds," Karla reminded, because she and Jack seemed to share a wealthy, blonde, mutant fetish. "The nerve, I know--"

Welp. That made breaking the news that much easier, didn't it?

Still, Karla couldn't help the imp of perversity that made her pause in her hug and say, "I'm--what? A baby! I thought it was a tapeworm!"

Karla, stop trying to be funny.

[bitten_notshy]

"And beloveds," Jack amended, because rich mutant blondes really were pretty great. "And I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm almost certain it's not a tapeworm. Tapeworms make you skinny. Babies -- do the other thing."

No, he wasn't saying the word 'fat' in front of a pregnant woman. He wasn't crazy.

"Congratulations," he added, his tone slightly hesitant. Karla would be a fine mother, but he wasn't ready for his younger friends to start making babies. He wasn't sure said younger friends were, either.

[glacial_queen]

"I heard you not saying the word fat," Karla grouched. "I'm not that far along yet. I still have a bloody waistline."

Letting him go, she went around her desk and started dragging her chair to the other side, so they could both sit and talk together without a massive block of wood in the way.

"And thanks. It was really unplanned. Like, really, really unplanned." She gave him an unsure-but-game smile. "But it had been so long since the last crisis, we didn't know what else to do?"

[bitten_notshy]

"You have a waistline now," Jack responded. "I have a feeling that will change."

He sat in the chair opposite Karla's as he listened to her explanation. "So you figured, why not throw in a helpless infant to spice things up?" he asked, eyes sympathetic. "Perfectly sensible. Are you going to get married before he or she gets here?"

Not that he thought it mattered, particularly.

[glacial_queen]

"It seemed like a great idea at the time," Karla assured him. "Especially since I can't use Craft while I'm pregnant. We figured it would kind of be a dare. To the universe at large."

Don't worry, Jack. She'd tell you what really happened in a moment. She was letting the idea of there being a baby settle before she brought up stuff like 'assassination attempts' and 'giant mutant-killing robots.'

"I think Momoko has her heart set on us getting married beforehand, but I'm not really feeling it," she said with a shrug. "Paternity works differently for us than it does for this world. And I'll be damned six ways from Sunday if anyone thinks I'm planning a wedding or trying to fit into a gown while building a tiny person."

[bitten_notshy]

"There's no need to go through the fuss of a wedding right away if it's not important to you," Jack agreed. "It's not like the baby knows the difference."

He cocked his head at her, frowning a bit. "You can't use craft at all? Doesn't that feel like your hands are tied behind your back?"

That struck him as quite a dare to issue the universe.

[sharp_as_knives]

If Hannibal got in trouble for eating anyone, he could send them right back to you, right, Karla?

He smiled as he showed up in her doorway around the middle of the day holding a cooler bag. "Lunch?"

[glacial_queen]

...What, like the undigested bits?

"You are my faaaavorite," Karla said, making grabby hands at the cooler. "I finished my snack less than an hour ago and I'm ravenous again."

She had a few things to discuss with Hannibal anyway--really? The salle?!--but those could wait until after she had put delicious foods into her belly.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal chuckled and came in, setting the cooler on her desk and starting to unpack the dishes. "I thought you could use some comfort food." He opened the first dish, smirking. "So I made duck." There were assorted green vegetables with it, for proper nutrition, and an appropriately chocolatey dessert.

It was your own fault you hadn't come to town earlier, Karla; if you'd spent the night at Hannibal's house, he'd have sent you off with proper snacks.

[glacial_queen]

Duck? Llwy, you temptress!

And, hey now. Karla had her other job she had to worry about, Hannibal. And a large number of people she had to reassure that they wouldn't face horrible ends the same way certain orphanage directors had.

...So long as they were on the up-and-up, of course. She's made sure that was clear. While wearing a very unsettling smile.

"That's not duck," Karla declared. "I've had duck. That's an orgasm in a pan."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I thought you might need it." Hannibal poured her a glass of something that looked like white wine. "Spiced honey water," he explained, "It isn't quite mead, but I hope it will do," He sat to join her. "How have the parents been treating you so far?"

[glacial_queen]

"Ooooh, that smells divine," Karla said, taking the glass and inhaling for a moment. Seriously, being pregnant had given her the ability to smell through time or something. "And as parent of one of my alternate-universe offspring, you're actually the closest I've come to seeing any parent at all. Which I'm both relieved about and a bit piqued. I just wasted a good case of nerves on today and for nothing."

Rude.

She took a sip and sighed. "Oh, this is good," she breathed.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal nodded his thanks. "I'll give Ermengarde the recipe, if you like. And I don't know whether to be pleased or concerned - they don't seem to be visiting me, either."

It gave him more time to work on the piece Jono had chosen for this evening. That sort of thing not generally being in his repertoire, no.

"I doubt you have anything to worry about, though," he told her, smiling. "You rule a kingdom, after all. Many of them are parents, too."

[glacial_queen]

"In my day, we had parents beating down the office doors," she exaggerated blithely. Or straight up lied. Whichever. "On the other hand, you missed out on explaining to Uncle Saetan why I was bald on one side or something after a cooking mishap."

She laughed like she were joking, while various Home Ec teachers from Karla's past simultaneously shuddered and reached for a drink.

Don't worry, Hannibal. Saetan wouldn't have needed an explanation. He probably would have handed you a drink and suggested you just let it all out.

[notamascot]

Mopey Kaylin was moping. And bored. And more disappointed than she really wanted anyone to see.

Somehow she found herself at Karla's door. Well... she liked Karla. She seemed to understand things.

[glacial_queen]

Right now, Karla was making paper airplanes and sending them flying around her office. So, hopefully maturity wasn't a thing that Kaylin was hoping Karla understood. Otherwise, she might be in for a bit more disappointment.

"Kaylin!" she said, sending her last airplane into a nosedive for the carpet. "I, uhh, didn't see you there! Here for office hours?"

She was just going to look around at the paper fleet that was decorating her office and despair a little. Bloody Hell. Before the Bump, she could have just waved a hand and vanished them all. Now she had to get up and start collecting them and hope anyone with Kaylin had a sense of humor.

[notamascot]

There was no one with Kaylin. No one at all. Thus the moping.

"Not really," she said. "Just... bored, maybe?" That was better than depressed, right.

She looked curiously around the office. "What are those things?"

[glacial_queen]

"Ah." Karla saw the lack of anyone following Kaylin in and put a few things together. "These? They're paper airplanes. Something to throw around because I, too, am bored."

She waved Kaylin inside and over to a seat. "Would you like to learn how to make one? I have to warn you, I'm not very good. I'm used to making them with Craft. Using my hands is a touch more clumsy."

[notamascot]

"Flying things?" Kaylin's eyes lit up. "Yes, that would be fun."

Then she frowned slightly. "You used to make them with magic? Does that mean you can't anymore? Did something happen?"

[glacial_queen]

You know, it was going to be all over radio tomorrow. Karla might as well start breaking the news now.

"I got pregnant," she said with a smile, her hand dropping down to her abdomen in the weird check she did every time she said that. It was like she unconsciously needed to verify that was true or something. "Craft is hard on the body. It speeds up our metabolism and drains our energy. The power sits in a reservoir of our Jewel, but even when tapping into that Jeweled strength, it draws on the strength of our bodies. So when a witch gets pregnant, she has to stop using Craft. Using it causes incredible pain; a warning sign from our bodies. If we use too much, we'll lose the baby." She held up a clumsily folded airplane. "Hence, doing things by hand."

[notamascot]

"Oh," Kaylin said, her face showing her consideration. "I never heard of mages back home having that problem. Are you and the baby okay? I work back home with the Midwives' Guild - if there's a bad problem with the birth, that is."

[glacial_queen]

"We're fine," Karla said warmly. "You wouldn't believe the number of people we have watching out for us. I'm also a Healer and my Court Healer can literally draw any illness or injury into herself. I'll see if I can't perhaps bring her to the island to meet you and see what you know."

She settled back against her chair and began to fold a new airplane. "I'm almost fourteen weeks along now. We weren't telling people before--darker Jeweled witches have more complications with early pregnancy that lighter Jeweled witches or landen women. More stress on our bodies. But I've been almost ridiculously healthy. I'm pretty sure I'm driving my Healers back home with how fine I've been. I'm wasting all their prime hovering time."